So let’s get this out of the way right now: there is not a damn thing wrong with sleeping around, there is nothing wrong with wearing skimpy clothes, and it really does not matter when you made you sexual debut. What does matter is how you feel about these things. To own your own sexuality is a sign of maturity and not everyone’s sexuality is going to be the same. Shaming people for how they express their sexuality as healthy, consenting adult members of society is a ridiculous, antiquated notion and it’s time we all realized that.
First off, in the words of Mean Girls, we “have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it OK for guys to call you sluts and whore”. Feminine sexuality has been demonized for so long that we have gotten it into our heads that “girls” are slutty where “guys” are awesome for doing the same exact acts. It does not matter at all how many people you bang or how frequently you bang them, regardless of gender. Doesn’t matter. Nope. Not a real thing.
So what makes someone an ethical slut? Well that’s someone who engages in promiscuous behavior where everyone is informed and safe. All sluts should be ethical sluts. One of the primary tenets of ethical sluttery is informing all of your partners as to what is going on. Tell them that you are non-monogamous. Tell them that you want to keep things casual. Make sure they understand what is going on.
The other necessity for being an ethical slut is regular testing. If you are engaging in sexual contact with multiple partners, regardless of your status or theirs, you need to be getting tested at the least every 3 months. This does not mean you have to go to your doctor every couple months and say “guess who’s a big ol’ whore?!”. Planned Parenthood, free clinics, and other similar facilities will run a STI panel and aren’t going to be judgey about it. It is also important to keep in mind that some infections can take up to 6 months to turn up.
When engaging with multiple partners it is very important to use barriers. This includes condoms and dental dams. Any place where there can be an exchange of fluids is a place where you need to use a barrier because not only are you risking exposing yourself, you are risking exposing other people without their knowledge. This includes oral. As I’ve said before. just because you can’t get pregnant doesn’t mean you won’t get a disease.
Own your pleasure. It is in no way unreasonable to demand that your own pleasure be taken into account. Sex does not have to end when someone orgasms; you can make sure that everybody has a great time. Be savage in the pursuit of your orgasm. Do not let your partners be inconsiderate of your pleasure. Inform your partners. Get tested. Use protection always. It is fine to be a slut. Just try to be an ethical one.
Geek Spectrum 