So, first thing’s first. I know all of you know that condoms exist. Everyone is aware that there is a little rubber tube you put a penis in before said penis participates in sexual contact. We have all heard the myriad assortment of slogans from “no glove no love” to “don’t be a fool vulcanize your tool.” Every teen movie seems to have some frustrated gym/health teacher handing out condoms while telling students that if they have sex, they will die. In fact, my own pubescence was spent with the mantra “what are drugs? Bad. what are boys? Bad.” because interaction with penis-bearing individuals would result in my contracting thousands of STDs and dying. As a result of my childhood mantra, safe sex has always been an obsession of mine. To me, genitals are like comic books: unless it’s your own, you shouldn’t handle it without a protective sleeve. That being said, barriers go beyond just covering penises in plastic and it’s time to talk about that.